As you may know from my previous entry, I’m
in between jobs and am looking for a new opportunity that will hopefully bring
me closer to my dream job / occupation, which might also be a business of my
own, who knows. I’m doing my best to stay positive and be patient to see where
this all leads me to. The economy is still bad (wondering how long this stupid
recession is going to hold) and although I’ve always had a feeling that,
career-wise, I’m not too bad off given my couple of college degrees, quite
‘employable’ age and some experience, it’s been three months now of writing
inspiring application letters and having occasional interviews and I’m not any
further yet in this sometimes really painful and otherwise merely confronting
process. And that’s where my former employer comes in, letting me know I could
temporarily work for him in my old role with flexibility to define my own
working hours and days. A great opportunity, you would say, at least for this
‘transition’ period as we both came to the conclusion that our relationship
wasn’t a perfect match. I could keep on looking for a job of my dreams (or the
one that would precede it – my close-to-dream-job) taking my time and not
having to worry about a gap in my resume growing bigger. But without knowing
it, my former employer provided me with a huge problem, that is giving me a
choice, while I hate making choices.
Yes, I do hate making choices, don’t you?
I wonder whether there’s one person in the world of approximately my age and in
approximately my situation, who likes making important choices his/her life and
future depend on. I don’t think so. Nienke Wijnants seems to agree with me, as she
has written a whole book and an actual dissertation devoted to the phenomenon
of the so-called ‘dilemma of the thirty-something-year olds’ (Dutch: ‘Het dertigersdilemma’). It’s all about the
so-called choice stress that individuals, particularly between 25 and 35 years
old, seem to experience most intensely. On the one hand, this intensity comes
from the importance of choices that are being made around this age for the rest
of your life: a choice of a partner, buying a house, getting children and
especially various career-related choices. On the other hand, the
consumer-oriented society we live in provides us with an overload of choices,
from TV channels and vacation destinations to the brands of breakfast cereals
in the supermarket, so that we simply refuse to choose and just want to have it
all. For further details I’d recommend you to read the book, which is a fairly
good weekend read, but to me it was a much-needed confirmation that I’m not
alone fighting with the choice problem.
It seems I already tried everything, from
making a famous list with pros and cons to asking people around me to help me
come to a decision, but so far the conclusion was: you have to make the choice
yourself, no one can do it for you. And still I don’t know whether it’s a good
idea to go back and work for my old employer or not. Terrible, I’d rather have
some circumstances I could lean on to make this choice (and to blame later, if
it’d turn out to be a wrong one), but it doesn’t seem to be the case. My most
arguments in favour of doing it are rational, but arguments against it are more
of an emotional nature. Risk losing something you already have, or just wait a
little bit longer and have a chance to gain something new, something you don’t have
yet? Dilemma = drama, hate it…
My last hope is the magic of Google – I
turn to the web wisdom with the following keywords: ‘back by old employer’. To
do or not to do? And guess what? I get plenty of hits. Different experiences
are being shared, from that it was a terrible idea to that it was all people
needed to finally feel happy in their jobs (read: get promoted, earn respect,
etc.). Well, it doesn’t really help me further. Oh Lord, is it Friday evening
already and I’m not there yet?
Does anybody have a working strategy of how
to make a choice in something that is really important to you? Meditation, a
list of arguments, listening to your intuition? Did anyone ever turn back to an
old employer and can tell anything about it? Just help me out here, HELP…
Hey dear, finally I am writing you some words:-)
ОтветитьУдалитьFirst of all, there is no magic trick and there is no big WISE man that can give you the advice you are looking for, moreover, you should be careful, as long as the resolution works for you, you will praise him, in the opposite situation - you will blame him and yourself all together.
Now let's cut to the chase(my own, it's not scientifically signed), after the philosophical crap:
the first guideline for choosing which path to take is to measure the harm(cons):
How really bad is it for you to go back to your old job? How much would you suffer there?
Do you need to commit to a long period of time?
Can you leave if it doesn't suit you well?
Now to some of the pros:
Cow bad is your money situation?
Can you gain anything from being there?
The last, but not least, do you have anything better to do with yourself and your time/does it withhold you from doing something more important(you still can send resume while being there, I suppose)?
Most of the decisions are taken easier when we do not imagine them as the terminal ones.
Think about it, it's just a job, you are not deciding to give up your kidney or anything.
If the cons are not that bad, the pros are fine also, try to go back, try to find another one during that period of time, try to improve yourself meanwhile, so you won't feel that you are regressing.
those were my two cents :)