There’s no way back or is there?

As you may know from my previous entry, I’m in between jobs and am looking for a new opportunity that will hopefully bring me closer to my dream job / occupation, which might also be a business of my own, who knows. I’m doing my best to stay positive and be patient to see where this all leads me to. The economy is still bad (wondering how long this stupid recession is going to hold) and although I’ve always had a feeling that, career-wise, I’m not too bad off given my couple of college degrees, quite ‘employable’ age and some experience, it’s been three months now of writing inspiring application letters and having occasional interviews and I’m not any further yet in this sometimes really painful and otherwise merely confronting process. And that’s where my former employer comes in, letting me know I could temporarily work for him in my old role with flexibility to define my own working hours and days. A great opportunity, you would say, at least for this ‘transition’ period as we both came to the conclusion that our relationship wasn’t a perfect match. I could keep on looking for a job of my dreams (or the one that would precede it – my close-to-dream-job) taking my time and not having to worry about a gap in my resume growing bigger. But without knowing it, my former employer provided me with a huge problem, that is giving me a choice, while I hate making choices. 

Yes, I do hate making choices, don’t you? I wonder whether there’s one person in the world of approximately my age and in approximately my situation, who likes making important choices his/her life and future depend on. I don’t think so. Nienke Wijnants seems to agree with me, as she has written a whole book and an actual dissertation devoted to the phenomenon of the so-called ‘dilemma of the thirty-something-year olds’ (Dutch: ‘Het dertigersdilemma’). It’s all about the so-called choice stress that individuals, particularly between 25 and 35 years old, seem to experience most intensely. On the one hand, this intensity comes from the importance of choices that are being made around this age for the rest of your life: a choice of a partner, buying a house, getting children and especially various career-related choices. On the other hand, the consumer-oriented society we live in provides us with an overload of choices, from TV channels and vacation destinations to the brands of breakfast cereals in the supermarket, so that we simply refuse to choose and just want to have it all. For further details I’d recommend you to read the book, which is a fairly good weekend read, but to me it was a much-needed confirmation that I’m not alone fighting with the choice problem.

It seems I already tried everything, from making a famous list with pros and cons to asking people around me to help me come to a decision, but so far the conclusion was: you have to make the choice yourself, no one can do it for you. And still I don’t know whether it’s a good idea to go back and work for my old employer or not. Terrible, I’d rather have some circumstances I could lean on to make this choice (and to blame later, if it’d turn out to be a wrong one), but it doesn’t seem to be the case. My most arguments in favour of doing it are rational, but arguments against it are more of an emotional nature. Risk losing something you already have, or just wait a little bit longer and have a chance to gain something new, something you don’t have yet? Dilemma = drama, hate it…

My last hope is the magic of Google – I turn to the web wisdom with the following keywords: ‘back by old employer’. To do or not to do? And guess what? I get plenty of hits. Different experiences are being shared, from that it was a terrible idea to that it was all people needed to finally feel happy in their jobs (read: get promoted, earn respect, etc.). Well, it doesn’t really help me further. Oh Lord, is it Friday evening already and I’m not there yet?

Does anybody have a working strategy of how to make a choice in something that is really important to you? Meditation, a list of arguments, listening to your intuition? Did anyone ever turn back to an old employer and can tell anything about it? Just help me out here, HELP…

Of job openings, unemployment and passion

When 3 years ago I came up with the idea of this blog, my aim was some kind of writing exercise and I didn’t intend to actually share it with anybody. Obviously, not more than one post came out of it. Now three years, a diploma, an internship, a real job and two months of unemployment later the question of how to make a living of something I really like doing is still keeping me busy. And trying to find the answer for myself, I read, watch, collect and analyze tons of information on this issue mainly online (LinkedIn groups and discussions, updates from thought leaders, career-related publications, websites, blogs and posts on FB and Twitter) as well as in good old papers or talks with family and friends. Being not the only one concerned with the issue – as far as I know, at least some of my friends and peers are having the same concern at the moment – I cannot but start sharing the information and insights I already processed myself. That’s why I decided to dust off my good old blog ‘In Search of My Professional Self’ and to start posting again as the subject matter is relevant to me as never before…

Another reason I started contributing to my blog is maybe also a little, how should I call it, pragmatic. Looking for a job now, I react to job openings of communication professionals in a broader sense of the word. And then I already know how it goes – picture a hypothetic conversation between me and a potential employer:

EM: So you have an ambition to become a copyrighter / communications specialist / pr agent [the list may be continued]? Is there something of you we could read?

ME: Well, my master thesis, I suppose, would that be all right?

EM: Do you maybe also write other things, like articles or like a blog?

ME: Nope…

EM: Oh, well, don’t you call us, we’ll call you…

Enough said, there’s nothing of me to read. Time to change this misconception.

So, communications, huh? And this is really something you sincerely like and are good at? I don’t know.

What did you want to become as a child? Nothing in particular, grown-up, I guess.

Then maybe at school there was a subject you were very good at? Well, like everything actually, if you consider good grades an indicator.

Maybe you had hobbies, did something artistic or were a member of some club? I danced some, sang some and even painted some, but don’t remember being especially wild about any of these.

How did you come to choosing your college? I kinda only had a choice of two very similar ones where I didn’t have to pay the tuition, so I just chose the older one.

Did you like what you studied at the college? I think I did, at least I didn’t hate it. How much did you know of different professions before going to college? Close to nothing!

I think this might be my biggest problem. The changing education system of young and independent Ukraine provided me with some profound knowledge of foreign languages (in my case, English and German) and maths, but never gave me any information on some kind of basic professional orientation. Maybe due to the changing reality where the old occupational system was making place for the new one, but my choice of a profession was left to my family or simply to chance. And now 2 college educations further (my second one being closely related to the first one, but then in the Netherlands) I still doubt the choices I made were the right ones. And therefore looking for a job without a real focus of someone who knows what he wants…

In the Netherlands it seems to be a hype at least of the last decennia, that one should choose a career according to his passion, or with other words, something he likes most and therefore does best. Job coaches and trainers of different kinds are there to help you find your passion if you still haven’t found it yourself. Their services are tailor-made and customers of all ages are welcome. No wonder I’ve been trying to find my passion as well, now it’s such a hot item on the labor market and my previous job sort of turned out not to be a perfect match with who I am.

A critique to this craze with finding one’s passion I came across claims that you’d better start doing something and give it as much dedication and hard work as you can. Then in the process, making some little choices on the way, you’ll shape you working reality to something one can call a “dream job”, a job with lots of autonomy, some meaningful contribution to the society and something you feel and know you truly are good at.

Whether it’s pursuing your passion or just starting doing something and making it your passion, I haven’t found out yet. And though my personal statistics isn’t that bad – until now 1 job interview out of 10 applications – I’m 20 applications further and am still searching and thinking. I’ll keep you posted…